I think too mush already... i shall stop dreaming.. and live my life through... no more angel in my life..

today was so sucky... saw 2 ppl who i don wish to see and they just appear... omg... oh ya.. and i think my form for the election maybe rejected also... sadded... nvm... fated.. maybe i just wun fit to be in there also... nvm... forget it...

sian... wad the hell... stupid me...

xOOx - 10:32:00 pm




-feel my wing, feel my fire. . . here i fly off. . .-

xOOx - 10:48:00 pm



What a boring day i went through in school... just that mobin tut class make me feel better... he's so cute la... lol... after class today... went to bukit timah plaza with peiying.. she looking for her fren bday present.. lol... haha... from today onwards i shall stop calling her "pig" "ben dan".. hahhaa... :p but you need to give me some time to give up this toking way first.. lol... hahha.. after accompany her walk around a "dead" shopping center... she went to meet lynn and another ger to go west mall.. then i head home... slack from just now until now.. lol....

shall start reading my acmb... tata...

-the angel dropped by and left...-

xOOx - 10:22:00 pm



I Just wanne live
Good Charlotte

I need an alarm system in my house
So I know when people are creepin about
These people are freakin me out (these days)
It's getting hectic anywhere that I go
They won't leave me alone
There's things they all want to know
I'm paranoid of all the people I meet
Why are they talking to me?
And why can't anyone see?

I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live

I rock a law suit when I'm going to court
A white suit when I'm getting divorced
A black suit at the funeral home
And my birthday suit when I'm home alone talking on the phone
Got an interview with the Rolling Stone
They're saying, "Now you're rich, now you're famous"
Fake ass girls all know your name and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Your first hit aren't you ashamed
Of the life, of the life, of the life we're living

I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live

Stop messing around, boy
Better think of your future
Better make some good plans, boy
Said every one of our teachers
Look out, you better play it safe
Never know what hard times will come your way
We say, where we're comin from
We've already seen the worst that this life can bring
Now we expect it everywhere we go
All the things that they say
Yeah we already know

I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live

-------------------

i just wanne to live happily.. but coming back home just make me worse... looking at my father my mother... they are just children who cant make their own mind... i hate them... i really do... thought that they have wake up after telling them tt time... here come them again... freak them... just giving me more problem... i already so down already.. and i need to care about both of u... quarrel about money... fuck you all.. wake up can or not.... you making me sick and tired of coming back home... going out with frens make me more happy than looking at both of u quarreling... i just hope someone will understand me... trying to find someone to chat to.. but i dont see a reply from anyone.... this is sick... frens will come when u need them... but just a simple reply i also nv receive... i so sadded... forget it...

look... i getting sick of my life day by day... where is my angel? where is my rainbow? where is my close friends who will listen to me? they all just don't care already... they have their own frens and i think they forget about me... im breaking away from reality... i hope that i will stay in my dream forever so that i will have all the happy event i always wanted...

and where is my angel... you are that angel last time and now you are still that angel... make me happy when you see me... please... pardon me if i will to be bad temper for this few days...

who may read this... i will be alright soon... just cheer me up ba...

-for she is my love but now she just a past. . .-

xOOx - 11:47:00 pm

f la... cant they just talk properly... quarrel for wad... f f f f f f la..... noisy la.... dulan la...

who is saying the right thing? i don wan to know.. i just want a happy family.... why cant i have.. i myself got my own problem now addition to them AGAIN... WHY? wad lao... where are you my angel? i really need you.. argh...

-no more happiness but problems. . . i HATE you. . .-

xOOx - 1:49:00 pm

Came back yesterday knowing that my aircon is down.. lol... how cool... when it is service during the afternoon.. hahaha... nvm... is alright without aircon for me.. then woke up today when for this nkf body check up at the clubhse... lol... all pass except for my body mass index(BMI).. lol... then went jogging with my brother... lol.. 2 rounds... but dunno how far.. lol... but ran at least 20+mins which is good for buring of the fat...

later having drum lesson and going to oliver hse for graduation dinner of the senior... so fun... and so busy.. argh.. i haven't start studying for ct.. o m g... and i shall start this week... i need to save more money... i wasting alot of money...

im hungry now.. haven eat breakfast and waiting for lunch to be done... feeling better? i think so ba... i just need an angel to guide me tru... who will be that angel? im just waiting...

-Angel, Guiding me throught the race-

xOOx - 12:47:00 pm



listening : from my heart
doing : slacking
mood : tired

Have a good chat with some friends on msn ytd night.... Just dunno what happened to my current state now.... It just happened that i become so weak in heart and confuse.... Just like wad aaron say... i want to head on, but there is something that pulling me back.... anyway i will try to live on, maybe one day i will completely give them off...

"you never stop loving someone, you just learn to live without them. ."

i used back this sentence again.... i have make it to live without you already... but i think i need time to put that love back into the where it shld be... and cont my life on...

my current passion:-

1.) Ngee Ann DragonBoat
2.) Study Hard
3.) The Passion of my life, my Angel

Will i sucess in life? i will try anyway....

-how i wish that the dream i have will able to come true? is so real. . .-

xOOx - 10:06:00 am



listening : yan lei de wei dao
doing : blogging
missing : who shall i miss?
mood : good

Going to sleep soon... shall blog abit of what happened today... went jamming with susu and alvin with accompany by pam, fiona and steph... hahaha... i just need to bark up on my drumming skill.. whahhaa... ok.. then went db training after that... the real training has started... and i feeling good... i love the training.. all the way.. don ever give up... my weak point... pull up... i need to train train and train on it... argh...

endurance... there is no limit to it... is just how u break that limit and aim higher... ego... im weak and i need to train to become a MAN... a real one... You will never walk alone.... All way.. NPDB... my passion...

-i just hope that someone will be up at the ending point waiting for me. . . Will she?-

xOOx - 11:34:00 pm



listening : ocean
doing : chatting, rotting
missing : myself?
mood : arch?

Yea.. finally got back my labtop after 2 weeks with mel service centre... update the whole system the whole night until now... What is feeling like when you know others is talking about you when u choose to act blur? haha... Thats me... I may look like i dunno anything but something is just that i choose to ignore them...

Is there a big problem for cutting hair short???? nvm... i shall don't care... Wadever... i nv regret cutting off the long hair i used to have... i don give a damn of ur comment... this is my choice y u care so much...

about my life now... i just dunno wad to choose now... i shall cont with this hack care attitude now... cos no 1 will care also....

feeling is something u can't trust them when u need them... is up to you to choose them... ok!!!!

xOOx - 11:39:00 pm



listening : akon's album
doing : nothing
missing : none
mood : feeling good?

So damn tired... I just woke up from an afternoon nap. Cut my hair short, change my spec... whooo... is this me? i think thats me... hahahaha... today during pract we were talking about that if we choose the right course in poly... it seem that not all of us will cont on this line... lol... for me... i got 3 ways... one cont with biotech... one is sign-on as a officer in army... one go moe become a PE teacher... lol... cool right... whahaha... so which line will i be? i dunno... lost touch with online after labby out-of-order for the past few weeks....

ytd was peiyi bday.... happy birthday ger... whahaha... even tot i wish u liao.. lol... my bday coming up next don u forget... i wan big big big present... hahaha....

and for me... i just feel so out of myself now... joined DB when at the start i was there swearing that i wun join... cos is waste of time... but now in love with the training style... i just dunno what have happened to me... haix... just let it be... my gate has just open to anyone but i wun walk back to my old shoes...

-life of a loner. . .-

xOOx - 5:41:00 pm



listening : old song
doing : slacking
missing : who to miss? no one now!!!!
mood : recoving from sickness

using my bro com to blog again.... i so damn bored now.... i just hope to recover tml so that i can go training... argh... wad a freaking cough i have... have 4hrs lecture and quite fun... keep toking with them then i wun like so easy tired and sleep... nothing much to blog also... shall go offline and do other thing... cos no 1 to chat to... lost touch to onlining le... lol...

shall go offline and go read other thing le... arghhhh... anyway... those who is feeling down... cheer up.... i gone tru a period of down time also.. i gone tru it... and i find a new journey of life... so can u... cheer up....

anyway... that time heard this from aaron... "Are you happy with the life now? Is this what you want?" My answer is all no.... like him... i am happy of wad i am now but i not happy of wad the life i having now... is not we want... toking crap liao... shall go do other thing

-am i that bad? but this is me now, i can't help it anymore. . . so stop asking why!!!-

xOOx - 10:38:00 pm



listening : none
doing : trying to blog
missing : none
mood : sick

hahah.. so long nv blog liao... now using my bro com to blog... whahaha... shall update the last few event... labtop spliot and still not ready... freak ngee ann... their service suck la to the core... say next week then another next week.. i shall f then up man... arghhhh... then fall sick on sun... have a fever at 38.2 degree... wooooo... so fun... nv tell my parent... whahaha... keep chionging water... cos i wan to go out the next day... but in the end the plan spliot... dinner cancel... then i went to see doc and still having the fever until mon night then the temp went down... lol... so fun.. so long nv had fever liao.. lol....

then today... brought all the stuff for training... in the end nv go trg... cos still coughing like hell... f up... better get well by thurs i wan to go training one de... arghhhhh.... so slack at nyaa clubhse with steph pam and simon... doing the book mark... lol... then toking crap then have dinner at mac with steph and pam when we saw sc hw huiting and zhiyi... the usual gang... they went home... lol... then adrain call pam and we head to POPULAR to get the stupid stuff... lol... (steph help u to complain liao.. lol)... waste our energy to walk down.. lol... then after that we head back home...

nv went home straight... i went to gym and self train abit... and here i come...having the bad cough again... arghhhh...

-i'm so gong now...-

xOOx - 10:13:00 pm



my labby got problem maybe not going online for quite a few day... sadded... arghhhhh... freaking bad luck this few days... anything sms me ba... fuck!!!!!

xOOx - 9:10:00 pm

listening : yi lu xiang bei, zjl
doing : resting
missing : me? no miss anyone. . .
mood : ups and downs

I should be at kallang now having my training. But my calf injury gave in and i cant even walk properly now. Forcing myself to walk from place to place now. Argh... Damn it. Anyway, yesterday is a long day. after lesson, went to gym and did some light training. force myself for a 800m jog for warm up. then went to gym and did some light weigh.

after that went to nyaa dialogue session then went to hopnight with zhu, chao, pam and fatty bom bom(peiying, thats wad she wan us to call her) *lol* chao,pam and zhu went to do duty then me and peiying went in and look. haha.. free of charge no need to pay... lalala.. see some preformace then that peiying got alot of comment to make leh.. aiyo... bwg...

after that went out for ice cream then chit chat together with zhu pam chao they all... then time for dance night... haha.. fool around until 10+ then when off with peiying and chao accompany us to bus stop.. lol.. went home... praying that i can recover from the calf injury.. in the end woke up this morning.. worsen... 5km run warm up? how u wan me to run... then nvm went down in the end.. so disappointed.. arghhhh....

Target by this year...

- Train up my physical and mental
- Study hard and score at least a gpa 3
- get the adventure camp sucessful up
- do more community service
- more more more...

xOOx - 2:31:00 pm



listening : nothing
doing : trying to make myself to sleep
missing : none
mood : feeling good

Trying to go sleep just now but i can't. Then i shall update what i did just now(Thursday). Recover from my sickness and went to schoold for IS. I honour the lecture for his long breathe. He really can tok alot la. Then after that went to library with my IS mate cum classmate to study the acmb quiz.

Then at about 4.30 went down to get hotdog from dinner but i regretted to get it. Then went for DB training. I'm on a mental and physical training now. lol... Fun.. i like the training. I feel GOOD. Tomorrow going to train with hs chao they all again. should be today. lol Then got this nyaa thingy then need to attend then after that hopnight. I going to be super tired by then. lol.

Still considering if going to hopnight. lol i want to make a plastic spec for training.. lol... still can't sleep.. can someone find me to sleep. o m f g...

arghhhhhhhhhhh.....

xOOx - 12:35:00 am



listening : incomplete , bsb
doing : nothing
missing : gong me?
mood : energetic

After 8hour of class yesterday, i came home with a bad headache and a slight fever. That what happened when one never get enough rest for a long long time. Didn't ate any medicine, i went to bed and sleep. Woke up for dinner and back to sleep again. I think adding all the time i had slept yesterday till this morning was about more than 12hours.

Anyway feeling better now. Shall contiune to make myself more tired and busy. I shall go for training today, even though i shall rest more. I'm testing my mental endurance to the limit.

-Im trying my best to be strong but am i making any result. . .-

xOOx - 10:09:00 am



listening : sou yi
doing : 20 amino acid
missing : am i missing her?
mood : happy cum tired

Have CCTA pract this morning, never know that this pract is so fun. Playing with cell, transfering here and there. Nagged by the kueh this like so fun in a pract that the other we are doing. Then have intru pract, doze off halfway was so tired. Don't know why i have been so tired.

Rush down to city hall and found out that that kong long is late. Stupid kong long. Then chat with that kong long on the phone until she reach the mrt. then top-up the ez-link and we make our way back to where we initially are. How stupid? just for one thumbdrive.

Then went back to school and rot at grandstand and look at noobs playing soccer. So damn funny la. there is like more than 12 ppl per side on the field playing all chase one ball game... lol... then until steph came then head to clubhse. Waited for all my group members to come then started the meeting. Suddenly i found out we are too ego to do things, hope we will be back in track soon. Got the quote for printing the t-shirt from ray now waiting for the next meeting again.

suddenly, i am back considering shld i join db or not? after hearing my bro say, now i got too many responiblility to handle, i need to give up something. i need to have my training timing out for myself then.

i shall learn to live without you, trying to keep myself busy so that i wun make any free time to remember the time i used to love u so much and i cant let u go......

You are just that dolphin of my life. . . Free and Lovable. . .

xOOx - 12:27:00 am


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