A type of sickness where there is no cure... and i maybe just suffer from it... it is just like a joke but it is just happening... crappying again...

i think im just thinking too much... haix... why i can only just stand there and do nothing... argghhhhh... tell me wad can i do?

-coldness hurts. . .-

xOOx - 11:28:00 pm

My eye just started to get more and more tired... haix... abc was just as unexpected... alot of thing just nv come out... siannnnn.. just getting sick of study more and more.. haixxxx.... events happened around me is just so happening also... ss day was over liao... good job done huiting... cheer up.. everything is over liao...

alright... nothing much to say.... trust that are build are now destory by what you all are doing...



xOOx - 9:14:00 pm

time check 8am... have 4hrs of sleep and i going to cont my study on abc... going to die soon.. waahahaha... and all cycle just haunted me in my sleep.. alright... it gotta be over soon and very soon...

all the other four are just sleeping their way through... lol... why must one be so stressed during exam.. hai.... alright... received your sms ytd.. and you did worried me.. ya and i stating the truth... cheer up. everything is over... relax ba...

everything just happened just like tt... i love to do something for you that can make you happy... but i dunno how... arghhhhhh....

-it is so happening....-

xOOx - 7:55:00 am



bored.. now in clubhse having my dinner... pizza again.. going to stay over at school to study... lol... and i only study 2 cycles only... lol... that slow.. going to chiong all the way man.. no need to sleep liao.. haix...

scared by your temper... relax leh... don dare to talk to you liao... :p

siannnnnnnnnnnn...... haixxxxxxxxxx

xOOx - 7:53:00 pm



I'm lossing my concentration again... it seem that staying at home alone is bad for me... just one more day to ct2 and i just wasted my day like tt... haix... how i wish someone just wake me out from my dream... the life that im wishing for wun come true anyway...

something just keep appearing in my brain... and i need some answer to them... will you ever tell an answer so that i know what to do... God have been playing with my life... i just pray hard that nothing will happened...

my attitude seem to be getting bad too... haix... wadever it gotta be... pissing me off is a bad idea now... my limit of controling my anger is getting worse...

wake me up . . . splash me with water if need....

-the more i learn the more i... i...-

xOOx - 9:31:00 pm

Alicia Key Feat Usher
If Ain't Got You

(Alicia)
Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yea
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things define what's within
And I've been there before, but that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

(Alicia-Chorus)
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing if I ain't got you, yea

(Usher)
Now Some people search for a fountain
The Promise is forever young
Some people need (both)three dozen roses
And that's the only way you prove you love them
(listen baby-Alicia)
(both)
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

(Usher)
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, babe
If I ain't got you, baby
(both)
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing if I ain't got you you you

(Both)
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing if I ain't got you, yea

I ain't got you with me, baby
Said nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me, baby

xOOx - 4:27:00 pm

Feeling can be build through time and i hope it really will. . . I just don't know, you seem so different from the other(ya.. everyone are special), but i just don't know how to descride it... whatever is it... i just hope this will just go on like i wanted it to be.... =)

what a boring day.. and i completed the whole Cooking Master Boy anime.. lol... Going to study in awhile... felt so stress.. i love to enjoy my holiday through.. but firstly i need to pray that i can pass all my module... didn't want to repeat and module.. PLEASE!!!!

Hoping i just pass my way through the 3 years in NP.. and i have choose to sign on ARMY already... i just not to study anyway... Attaching myself to something that need not much education level may be good to me.. :p

i miss you... and i really do... your name just flood my mind in and out... i love to tell you this.. but it seem i just need to hide them in my heart again... And i just hope that sms u reply that time is from your heart... It just come naturely of what i do now...

The life that i gone through now, is just so different from the past...

-I'm just blinded by everything. . .-

xOOx - 3:15:00 pm



Good morning.. Woke up first and the gang are still sleeping.. so i shall come online and blog... lol... is so noisy in school now... having some s&w soccer competition and the badminton ppl are so noisy... alright... 4 movie straight was the max for me... whahhaha.. fall asleep at part of the movie... lalala...

alright... nothing much to update too... so i shall go back to the anime be4 the gang wake up.. :p

-i hope one day it really come. . .-

xOOx - 10:18:00 am



Dinner with gang was just another fun day to brighten my day. . . crap alot with them and enjoy our xiao long bao and la mian... :p initially we order 3 la mian.. then after finishing those.. we wanted to order our xiao long bao... the waitess was shock that we going to order FOUR long of xiao long bao... she tot that we wanted 4 xiao long bao only... lol... wad is the problem of having 4 long.. aiyo... in the end we order 3... whahaha...

then go our ice cream... thats heaven man... omg... having a sore throat i still eating ice cream.. im so bad... lol... alright then took 187 with them... since my bus have left... no point waiting the bus alone... lol... so sat the same bus with them... lol...

got off the bus and walk home... lol...but at least i go someone to entertain me on the phone all the way back home.. lol...

alright... camping in school tml... and i haven tell my mother about it... sure will kena say one.. lol...

-life without a reason-

xOOx - 10:26:00 pm



Don't it feel irritated... when u find someone who is so free to read your whole blog and go match the blog post with other ppl... but there are such ppl... that part of the reason why i change my address...

so those who have my link.. i hope you don post it on your blog from now on... or tell anyone... thanks very lot... alright some ppl just make me dulan today... fucking dulan... pls understand that i just came back from a campus run and i need a cool down.. and i told huiting that i will change so jelly well tell me properly la... tell you now... MAIN COMM big FARK ar(IM NOT TARGETING ALL THE MAIN COMM I MAKE IT CLEAR NOW)...

sorry weiqi... i think u cant see this la.. but sorry.. i dunno who tell that words to... but i choose you to pass the messenge to the others ba.. my words may sound abit harsh but is my mood after that... i will just repeat this...


you can say lead by example... but are you doing it? like wad we say... "SAY ONLY MA!!!"

a system can work for last time may not work this time... if you think that there is problem with it, start thinking of new ways to solve them and not carry on the same mistake...

i getting very sick and cough cough and more cough... like wad pam say... "Im not main comm, no instructor.. why care so much?"

-You don't demand respect.. you earn it...-

xOOx - 11:50:00 pm



Oh my oh. . . My throat just gotta worse and worse... cough and cough for the past few days... and still coughing up to now... flood myself with lots of water... and trying to get myself back in condition... alright today's instru was sucky.. haix... shall talk much about it...

life is full of stress....

xOOx - 8:26:00 pm



Something just happened.. i'm sick again... lol... sore throat... i feeling bored... it look like no one will entertain me... have been blog jumping and frenster jumping... whahaha... read my instru book... and it look like there alot of thing im not clear... haiz..

im feeling so tired... so tired of the life im living now... booo...

nothing special about today... it just suck like usual.. lalalala

-i may not be the same, but it doesn't mean i've changed...-

xOOx - 10:52:00 pm

What a day i went through... went for a student union's event... hahaha... the event wasn't fun at all but the conversation and knowing new frens from there is fun.. lol... whahaha.. finally we found lots of ppls who dont like that guy and story about him.. whwhahhaa...

petition petition.. lol....

we walk and walk around orchard to just to sell the tixs.. wahahha.. damn f one la... who will buy those tix... ok nvm.. then me pam zhu head to nlb to copy notes... whahaha... then went to mos for dinner... then here we go again.. shoot shoot shoot shoot... and laugh laugh laugh... lol... then here we head home... then took mrt with pam.. then cont...

6 days straight i have not been sleeping well. and i got sick becos of that.. i shall go sleep then...

-i really dunno now. . .-

xOOx - 12:05:00 am



Alright, i missed my dragonboat training today... wasn't having 100% condition for training... Alright so i went to look look at the ss day thingy.... quite a few nice performances this time... but...... cannot say... *save me*

this batch is just giving me some FIRE in my head... they better dont step on my tail.... YICHAO AND PAM stop saying that tiffy ger... wad lao... i just say that is a adidas shirt only and say so rich print jersey with adidas.. then that asshole chao say i interested in her.. wad the....

alright after that went back to clubhse... order pizza and watch anime on vin's labby until 10:45... whahaha... i have been staying out late this few days.. but i just love it.. whahaha..

life is just becoming more and more stress... with exam coming up soon.. and project just approve.. im just becoming more and more stress only.. arghhhhh...

-you doing very well, keep up the good job...-

xOOx - 11:49:00 pm

suddenly... alot of things just happened at one go recently.. haix... so saddening... i was just shock to hear all this... life is so miserable... for me... i just hope everyone is happy... even how sad i was... just looking at those simle from your face... just make me happy already...

if you wan to follow your roots... then be it... cos you will just be a small plant and the trees will just cover over you. . .

Alrightno thermo brust before db training... and that it...

first gl training.. everything is just alright.... controling my temper just not scold... so don piss me off... lol... :p

-fate is always turning their back to us...-

xOOx - 12:24:00 am





xOOx - 11:08:00 pm



o m g... thanks for the surprise my gang.... one of the most meaningful bday after 19 years... here how the story started... steph bluff me by telling me that she wan a meeting about the aden camp at esplanade... so as a good member i say ok....

finish class at 12pm.. have lunch with class then went to com lab then do intru... whahaa... and finally finish them.. lol.. wahahah.. after that... went to lot1 and cut my hair.. then sit 190 to city... walk to suntec and got my adidas windbreaker.. lol... whahaha... then walk to esplanade.... sat near the the singapore river... just stare into the sea... just keep thinking...

then make my way to library... look at those stupid mag... then steph say change of meeting place to suntec... i was.. diao... must walk back.. so walk back loh... whahhaa... after meeting her.. then found out that pam alvin royston kang was there too... alright fiona was there too.. both me and fiona were keep in secret that the gang is celebrating our bday together... oh man... thanks guys... they brought cake and some food and we sat at the fountain at suntec and ate there..

just sat there and play around and took foto... thanks thanks.. have meaningful day...

A big thanks to G.K - 168 and royston...

-loss control of myself. . .-

xOOx - 11:22:00 pm



Alright... what a day to rot my first day as a 19th kid... haix... thanks to those who make a point to sms/call/messenge me and wish me happy bday.. thanks guys... i receive some present today too.. from my brother and also my bro's gf's mother.. lol... a singlet and a wallet... and that wallet was once i wanted to buy... whahaha.. but in the end didn't lol... quite long ago.. whahaha..

went for my drum lesson... but be4 that met peiyi to pass her that camera's charger.. then called to help me choose something for my bro's gf bday which is on wed.. lol... *so many aug baby* and rot with her for awhile be4 i go for my lesson... after lesson met her again becos she wan my opinion on the shirt she saw at flesh imp... i went and she brought it and i was make to buy one shirt also becos there is this offer... :p

another flesh imp shirt in my drawer.. haix... then rot until my parent came and went dinner with them....

i make my first wish on my bday... and it is keep in my of the post in this blog... search it... and u will know what is it...

-i hope i can tell u this again. . .-

xOOx - 11:23:00 pm

yawn yawn.. just reach home... alright.. have training in the afternoon.. the noob is scared of running and praying there will be a shorter run.. but in the end there wasn't any cause we used quite a long time on the pull-up bar... lol

i just love my boat rower... we push off fast and away from the other boat for quite a long distance.. whoah... we are just the best.. lol... today wasn't that shag like last week.. maybe i just used to the training.. or is it today no run.. lol.. i love to run but my butt is painful today.. lol...

1-2mth before going into competition training section.. i hope to get into the team.. but commitment during the holi will be low.. haix... too bad... but i will still cont to train... oliver is shooting me... lol...

alright.. thanks jap, yu qing and khin wee for ur bday present... i was shock when u all ask wad u wan at the new balance shop at suntec la.. whahhaa.. thanks guys... whahaha...

i went to meet peiyi at tamp after that... initially was to meet the gang... but she demoralise as she lost her mp3 player.. so i went down and we chill at starbuck.. *again* she there complainting she lost here mp3 player and other funny stuff also.. whahaha... sit there for 2hrs crapping our time tru... after that head back home loh...

now so sian... 19 years was put to no use in this world yet....



-i pray.. i pray that one day im able to make my mind. . .-

xOOx - 12:00:00 am




have the usally class in the morning... hahaha.. then met alvin kang zhuu pam at clubhse and we head off city... have lunch cum dinner at marine square... after that we brought 8$ worth of ice cream and we started chiong ice cream on our way to marine south... took 75 initially... then i saw the bus stop got no. 400 sign.. so i called them to alight...

but after standing there go a period of time.. i went toward the sign and i saw that the bus wun resume service until tml.. hahaha... then so we trek our way to marine south... the carnival was a disappointment.. but the exploration after that was the fun part... whahahha... we did night walk under the brigde... quite dark and we dunno where it lead to... but in the end.. whahaha... we are brought back to the lights.. and we found our way to the route on the expressway.. took photos and the 4 of them did a stupid thing... hahaha...

then we make our way to suntec city... after about 80+mins of exploration.. lol... did a delication at the computer at the suntec fountain then went mac for supper.. lol.. there the 5 five of us started to crap... about all the funny stuff.. and we found the G.K - 168 lol... whahaha... we crap at mac until 10:30pm before we headed home.. whaaha..

today is just a happening day for us.. lol... laugh out all the way...

-i wan to move it move it. . .-

xOOx - 12:02:00 am



ok.. gastric is dropping by... sian... why are everyone telling me the same thing... haiz... this is sick...

wenlin told me something about me when im doing the IS project with her... i wasn't like tt last time... i swear... but is my surrounding that make me so now... but i may willing to change... but i need time to change to... but i did change abit... i did control wad i say now...

im just confuse of wad am i thinking now? fuck man.. arghhhhh...

xOOx - 11:24:00 pm





-i'm aren't ur dog. . .-

xOOx - 9:27:00 pm

You say u dont want to know. . .
But in my heart i want you to know. . .
So i shall just keep in my heart then. . .
No one will know the reason then. . .

-staying in singlehood wasn't bad after all. . .-

xOOx - 1:48:00 am



ho ho ho.. i did out a new blogskin with the borness in me... photo editing with the help of photoshop and picasa... and i by digging old template i did out this new script.. lol... whahhaa... so fun... i too bored.. cos no one is entertaining me... arghhhh

and i chatting with su su regarding gers in lsct.. whahaha... the lsct belle and beau thingy la... TALENT SCOUT... i think we are just having too much time... lol....

-i'm trying hard, trying very hard. . .-

xOOx - 11:23:00 pm

Happy 40th Birthday Singapore

Today was a public holiday, but i didn't go out and did rot my day through again. I went down to my hse gym and did a 30mins run on the threadmill, and i complete 4mile(6.4km). And i did some weights and went back home and catch the national day celebration on tv.

I'm always interested on 2 part of the celebration. First is the GOH marching in, soldiers in No.1 uniform is the smartest. hahaha.. And during my ncc life i wore the no.1 uniform once only. Secondly, i love to watch the firework display. Its so cool where one can light out the sky with some mixing of chemicals.

When i was watching the firework on tv, i was thinking... if im able to fire my feeling up in the sky and let it disappear through the sky. crapping my way tru again...

Alright, i shall stay as what it is now. . . comments on me i shall just dont care....

Oh ya, remembering something... giving care and concern to someone turn out that other ppl think that i like her. . . o m g. . . i shall not comment on this...

-am i looking at the same sky as you?-

xOOx - 9:03:00 pm



I'm super super super tired... I shld have choose to go home after school today.. but i went out with hs they all and have xlb then went to swenson with pam and royston for the $4 sundae treat.. whooo... today is just another eating day... whahaha.... then received a call from steph that that lao one wan to see her.. and she don wan see her alone... so being a good boy i went back school.. lol... since the other don wan to go back as they got things on...

there is still problems with the FUCKING proposal.. argh... quite minor.. i think can settle fast... pls...

alright then went home after that... lay on the bed and i sleep for awhile.. and here am i.. blogging my day off... whahahha...

-i shall choose not to face the my feeling for awhile. . .-

xOOx - 10:00:00 pm



Time really fly and soon my bday is coming... Anyway, i don't find it is important to celebrate one's bday(thats wad i think).. But i will be very happy if my fren just send me a bday message or wad on my bday, as i know they care and they do remember... this time round bday on sun... programme for that day i think shld be the same...

haha... you asked "what you want for your bday?" hmmmmm... just anything la... really loh... is up to you... anything from you... will brighten my day liao... cheers...

anyway today was a rotting day... choose not to go sentosa with the db guys... wanted to study but didn't and sleep my day tru... my mother choose the wrong time to ask the wrong question... and she pissed me off... i dunno why i just cant really communicate with both of them... they just don link with me... arghhhhh... wadever....

to KANG PEI YI:

if you are reading this... my turn to ask for my bday present liao... lol.... you better get ready.... ahemmmmmm.... my list will be very long.. so get ready your pen, paper and atm card.. lol.... jk la... when u come online i shall discuss this with you... lol

to my mother:

you wun be reading... is my choice and freedom to do my things... so don question me with stupid question... plssssss...

-why ask when you know the answer. . .-

xOOx - 11:00:00 pm



Someone say: "sian then go update blog"

so here am i updating my blog... i really dunno wad to update... went to kallang for training after missing last kallang trg... and im going miss quite a few as im going to take up 2 star kayaking soon... so my sat will be gone..

this is first training after so many time that i feel shag after training... i really cant find the energy to talk and joke around with jap chao yu qing they all... now i felt wad kelvin(ex senior) say that time round... dan also... hahaha.. have lunch at 4+ at market with the gang and went home and i have dinner at 7+ with parents.. whoo... im super full.. lol...

and im complaint im sian... and no one is entertaining me... arghhhhh.... :p

-sometime. . . someday. . . i want to prove myself that i'm there. . .-

xOOx - 10:41:00 pm

Tirness has filled my body for the past few day and thats include today. I will be having dragonboat training later at kallang and the sun is burning hot today. Now i'm hydrating myself with lots of water, to prevent cramps on my leg. Hopes that today's run wun be long.

Didn't blog ytd, cause don't have the mood to blog. Anyway i shall talk about it today. Ytd is just a typical friday. It was the first time after mobin gone that i scribbing things on my lecture. it seem that this lecturer explain alot. intru was just another boring lesson but something i need to start to buck up. haix.

after lesson went to c1 for lunch and head back for pract. pract was a fast one... but was the lab manager on that day, so need to clear up the lab. went to outside co-op and rot with aaron wenlin yvette... and that 2 gers start shooting me with the same old question... and the answer is just NO... aiyo... then yvette went off with her parent... then we cont to rot and i started copying intru notes... then go aaron for his driving class and wenlin and i went off as she got some national day observation at convention... then i went to the nyaa booth and cont to rot... lol...

have free dinner.... whaahha... pizza... whahaha... then head home after that....

shall stop.. gettign really for training liao.. cheers...

-fate is just not at my side. . .-

xOOx - 10:22:00 am



When to dental in the morning... ahhhhhhhh... i going to get 2 of my wisdom tooth out.. ll... and i need time for recover... omg.... meaning no training for a period of time.. and i scared that i will miss the db training camp... arghhhh....

after dental went back sch to help the nyaa booth... rot there until 4+ then went to the swimming pool and get ready for training... today fitness test but my ankle still haven really recover... lol... but i did improve a bit on chin-up and situp which is also quite bad.. my running... shld do better if not becos of that injury... 11:19... i wan to hit 10 flat... arghhhh...

have dinner at market... and saw annabelle and the other ger... forget wad name liao... lol... laugh laugh laugh... "how do you spell jason?" wth.... alright then annabelle wanted to take 67 this time.. so i got ppl to accompany home... lol...

i still thinking shld i go to sentosa with the db ppl on sunday... i wan to study... but i don wan to miss the chance to get to know more ppl from the db... haix...

-i miss shooting you, i miss saying you gong, i miss hitting your head. . . but. . .-

xOOx - 10:52:00 pm

I found hope in you but now this hope have been rejected...

as what you said we wun be able to be together.. so i shall give up...

And i promise you.. i will get back like last time....

-true love is the soul recognition of the counterpart and the other-

maybe we just can't recognise our soul for each other....

xOOx - 9:11:00 am




haix... today is a real bad day for me... late for abc becos wanted to try new route... *stupid idea* but lucky didn't miss the quiz.... went for lecture.. got back 2 common test paper... and both of them FAIL... haiz... arghhhhhhh.... so sad la... haix haix haix... why am my brain working at all... so sick of it... have been thinking and thinking that i choose thewrong course... arghhhh...

haix... demoralise.... did my campus run after school and injury my ankle.. how about it... how bad can it be... and tml there will be fitness test for db... arghhhh... haix....

how i wish that you will be there for me? how i wish. . . how i wish. . .
anyway.. went to city area for dinner with zhuu fiona poon hs... me and hs wanted a budget dinner.. in the end... we went into a BUDGET swenson meal... lol... how interesting can my day become.... my usual... and we have the 3 $4 sundae.... my body is now full of chocolates.. lol.. after that head home... and im will miss the class gathering tml... cos of dental appointment, duty and training.. haix... sorry guys....

sadded....


-you will always look the way it is in my heart. . .-

xOOx - 10:01:00 pm



Guilt feel my body looking at those mices... need to do some prayer for them... we did kill some life.... arghhh... ok.. have a long pract today... and skip intru after 1hr becos i did have a place to sit at all... went to chinatown with steph to check the price of the first-aid kit... that FAT guy... just explain wad is inside the pack... can't it be explained on fone.. gong...

alright after that head back to school and rot... cos i have training and zhuu got some nyaa thingy... lol... training today was alright... thurs there will be fitness test.. and im aimming 10min for 2.4... i gotta push myself.... pushhhhhhhh.....

im getting real tired... and i think im going to tire myself up... training study comm... and i soon there will be more thing coming up... argh... telling myself that im alright... my mental power will soon hit the limit..

who will ever bring me up again? haix...

-problems filled in the bottom of my heart-

xOOx - 11:13:00 pm



Today shall be said as a bad day... And i shall kept it in my heartwhat happened... have pract in the morning and lecture after that... during pract i know about that mobin is gone.. oh my god... the breadman is gone.... he is a not bad lecturer after all but he think his appoach to us is wrong...

after lecture went to megabit for lunch with pam and vin... tok about campfire blah blah blah... then and went to outside coop to rot with alvin... but in the end was playing battlefield on kelvin labby.. lol....

then head home after that... didn't went for the briefing by huiting about the school beau and belle... sorry... actually is i don wan to stay in school from 12-5 and rot... and i didn't bring anything to study also... so i choose to go home...

went home and slept for 1hr... and woke up to get really for my run.. whahaha... my usual... *ron going to say.. "everytime go your blog sure see u say u run run run" whahahah* i did one round of usual route and ran a different route after that... did a longer distance today... ran for est 5km... my pushing force today was the mp3... i concentrate on music and didn't care about anything around me... whahaha...

i just love to sweat... it just make me more and more better... sometime if i can just cont to run all the way and need not care about things around me wouldn't it be good...

thinking about it.. last time during sec sch... one that is so lazy to do running actually become a runner himself.. lol... someone who think that he wun be able to run long distance actually doing it now... the inital driving force.. dragonboat... the subsequent driving force... i shall not talk about it.... step-by-step... i shall be up on top of the hill one day... and this hill will have no end...

today tok to someone properly... and that someone just walk off like tt... haix...

-today is not a good day. . .-

xOOx - 7:52:00 pm


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