xOOx - 11:27:00 pm



xOOx - 1:14:00 pm



xOOx - 5:59:00 am

WhooHaa... Back from training.. so damn tired and shag... my leg are becoming heavier and heavier when i walk back from training.. lol... When everyone heard that today is running rifle range.. all moral drop... lol... but we did still conquer it....

back from rifle range will be pool rowing... then head to mac for celebration of the sept babies... then head home...

oh ya... was scolded by oliver that i need to work harder... hais... i think i need to work harder than the rest... =(

sorry if i pissed u off... sorry if i did anything wrong that i don't know... sorry that i don't know that you are down...

i just hope that u are doing well....

-stay happy.. that what i hope for you. . .-

xOOx - 12:20:00 am



Sian… I was thinking about something just now… then found that it is very true… when will it happened someday… someone please dare me to do it… feeling so tired now… woke up early today to go for my dental checkup… and the dentist say I’m getting darker.. *lol* “Are you in army now?”

Then went to eat breakfast then took 190 home… slept the whole journey back… brought oreo, juice and H2O. hahaha… and cont to sleep for another 2hrs and now getting ready for training later…

-I miss her… and I just hope she doing well now…-

xOOx - 3:05:00 pm





xOOx - 8:26:00 pm





xOOx - 10:29:00 pm





xOOx - 10:52:00 pm





xOOx - 9:34:00 pm



Alright.. getting ready for dome day tomorrow... DragonBoat Training Camp... will be going through hell for the 2days... ok... nothing much happening today.. cos i have been rotting at home...

did up a a new picture for my blog... and some updates on the nav.... added a new tag board too.. meaning i will be having 2 tag board.. wahhaha... how stupid i am... just in case that one is down the other is still alive.. lol... whahaha..

boreness... anyway i cut my hair again.. lol... shld say trim ba...hahaha... just the side shorter abit then the front abit.. whahaha...

im getting more and more free...

-you, and thats you who im waiting for. . .-

xOOx - 5:35:00 pm



boredd and siann now...
nothing much about today....
went to training today...
just disappointed about my current state...

alright... felt so tired...
mentally and physically...
but something just nv change...
i want to work harder...

above all this... one thing still nv change too...
the feeling....


shag.... i just hope thing will get better when time goes by...

-you are not alone....-

xOOx - 10:34:00 pm



today is a headache day.... wake up feeling so tired... but i still pull myself up and get really to go school... ITS HOLIDAY.. and im still going school.. WHY? becos i want cover up yesterday wrong doing of not going training... so i did my self training... did my timing for the full campus run... 16:12min... and im not happy with it...

then did some weight training myself.. then went to clubhse and rot... was looking at the gl training today... then have meeting.. and our camp is POSTPONED to next holiday... whahahaha.. after much stress and headache.. we need to wait for another semster...

have snack with alvin at market and we headed home after that... lay on the bed and i sleep until 6:30 and woke up with a another headache again... and its still pain up to now... hack la..

sorry.. i dont mean to be like tt yesterday... just that wad happened make me like tt... maybe i think too much ba...

-coldness is a pain in my heart now. . .-

xOOx - 10:29:00 pm

DragonBoat did mean alot to me... the passion when i row in the sea.. the spirit.. the training... the current condition of me... is all with the help of db... but coming back to reality.. something passion cant come with reality...

but i know i think too much...until the day i think of wad to do.. i will cont my passion... training will still resume as usual...

but wadever is it... i will always put friends infront of cca, passion or wadever... i will nv walk back the route i choose to walk in the past... cca infront of frens... and in the i got was DISAPPOINTMENT...

maybe after dec race then i start thinking of something....

is back to square one afterall... all my fault...

xOOx - 1:13:00 am



how things can end my day today.... FUCK IT....

ITS JUST MY FAULT EVERYTIME....

MORNING:
didnt sleep well yesterday... woke up with stiff neck...
was guilty to choose not to go db training in the afternoon...
just becos i choose not to neglect my FRIENDS ANYMORE...
which i did it LAST TIME... and i regret doing it.... i lost a bunch of brothers...
the bond with them have just gone becos of all my FAULT... did anyone know how i feel...

AFTERNOON:
ZOO... kept raining in the later part.... got some part my shirt dirty... how much bad luck i was going tru.... adding to tat.. at california fitness... wad fuck 2 weeks trial... WHAT KIND OF FITNESS CONSUTANT will recommend their user to train 7 times a week without a rest day... in the end they just wan money ma... fuck you.... but the other one is better...

NIGHT:
MARINE STEAMBOAT... rain just as we exist the MRT.... nvm.. just walk in the rain loh... giving the rain to cool myself down... alright... eating was alright... until my mother call... WAD THE FUCK... do you need to shout.... not i nv pick up ur fone is i really nv heard it ma... fuck off man... just keeping my cool in front of the gang... haiz.... cont to joke with them.... thinking that it has ended... but something just sadded me... nvm... forget it...

something pam and steph say ytd on msn about me in db.... ALONE... ya im alone... frens is just that few of them.. dan yuqing japh yichao len... the others just have their own circle already... and you say i shld consider quitting.... i did consider not becos of frens in there not becos training.. but i did consider becos of my family... DB take up all of my time... and i still considering of quitting becos i wan to work... at least i can do something to cover my school fees and not seeing my father so tired.... ya i hate them... but in the end they are still my family... haix... you hit my weakest link....





haix... maybe i gave myself too much hopes.... gave myself too much chances...

maybe there no happy ending for me ba...

-hit me with care and concern. . .-

我的错

xOOx - 11:40:00 pm



im just missing something...
holiday don seem like holiday to me...
not in the mood of it...
haix... siannn...

and i miss her...
when will i able to see her again...
soon?
i dunno...

shall jump into bed ba....
happy majongin'...

-don't be sorry cos i know...-

xOOx - 1:38:00 am



first db training after exam period...
and its alright ba..
we did triangle... and 4 set of 1min...
and i fall and cut my leg and finger...
achievement by doing 6pull ups by my self...

and as usual.. yichao didnt go for training.. and i fuck care already....
reason for not going TIRED... becos go DRINK... THERE NO POINT...

im exhausted... mentally and physically... i need REST....
BLOOD is flowing to the brain so fast that its making me headache...

where are you? boreness....

-physical injury isn't painful than mentally injury-

xOOx - 9:59:00 pm

Booo.. exam finally over...
fun shall be taken over for the next 6weeks...
but not forgeting training... :p
planning for more outing with frens...

abc was alright.. shld be able to secure a B or better...
went out with alvin and pam to bugis.. for bk(lunch cum dinner) and did awhile shopping at bugis junction...
took bus back to esplanade to watch zhuu preformance... and today indeed was a shooting ppl day for me and alvin.. lol... shooting one ppl after the other...

shall start planning for holiday.. going to be pack with training and meeting of camp for this few weeks... haiz... its not holiday to me for the past few sems holi.. i was so damn busy... i wan life...

i miss... the time....

i miss everyone too... especially...

-blanks is to be filled up by you-



xOOx - 1:22:00 am



Last Paper tomorrow and freedom will live with me for 6weeks or so.... And this holiday will be full of self training... training for me have resume after a long break because of exam... i shall keep up the pace to catch up...

abc will be next and it seem that i haven start studying it.. shall go study it soon le.. waahhaha... cant wait for tml to be over... lol...acmb was fuck ytd... i scared that i will fail it la... haix..... i mean fail the module.. please i don wan to repeat.. arghhhhhhhhhhhhh...

haixxxx

xOOx - 5:07:00 pm



my head is going to explode le..
memory work have been the worse for me...
hate memory work... arghhhh...
just hope that u are doing well too...

training shall resume soonnnnnnn... sava selection this sat.... and i want to get into it....

-you are my will....-

xOOx - 12:59:00 am





my all time fave song... whenever im down i sure will listen to this song... just make me know that everything i done is all my fault.... i accept all fault....

xOOx - 12:22:00 pm

Life has be ups and downs this period of time...
Exam going to be over after just 3 more papers...
Parents are just getting on my nerves...
Brain cells have been used to memoriesing just lame modules...
i just love the way we are now...
finally met up with my sec sch fren.. after MIAin' for like a few months...
gotta to save money... finally know that i need to save up already...
holidays are just going be packed like be4..
sourcing for jobs... part time...

maybe i need to consider something in life...
passion for things have been changing...
now it's just that peak i need to climb to reach that goal.. is just a peak away....

standing where im now... i hope i can do better next time... I WANT to change... evalutating oneself will seem to make you think more in life ba....

-your care... your thoughts... your messenges... do give me will to strive harder...-

xOOx - 12:49:00 am



It so irriatitng... They just like to quarrel is it... im not siding any side... but it seem that both side is giving me the same fucking reason... arghhhhhhhh.... fuck man... tot they got problem only meh? they nv think that we also not included is it? fuck you understand... wad lao... everytime u all quarrel... we are one hearing those stupid childish words from both of u...

when are you all going to wake up? is all about money... why must life be measure by money... fuck man... arghhhhhh... knn... wad the fuck.... arghhhhhhhhh...


ps: pardon my vugalar

xOOx - 10:12:00 pm




ho ho ho... alright.. today the ccta was average ba... i cant say i dunno or i know... haix... nvm.. i just hope for a pass... PLEASE... alright.. then head town... i was at the sence of that body part thingy... the whole grass patch at orchard mrt was closed by the police... didnt know wad happened until my mother called at night and tell me is some body part... WTF... why are there this kind of ppl around in singapore... all mind got something wrong one... arghhh... went to buy the crumpler bag that i have been saving money on... $$$ gone...

but just love it... red my fave colour... lalalala... then took the longest journey to airport to save money on transport.. arghhh... and is really long and hot on the stupid bus...

have swenson... omg.. $347 that wad we spend at swenson with 18 ppl in total.. lol... alright that my buddy, jeffrey's bday... as i have been MIA'in for quite long.. so i agree to went loh... but i didn't went to 85 after that cos it is quite late already...

the trip back home is so boring... no mp3 cos no batt.. then on fone for the first part of the journey until the underground... then was rotting all the way home/... lol...

having a sight headache... sian..

-you + me = good-

xOOx - 11:59:00 pm



Wasted 3hours of my day because of National Library... Hate their rule of having no notes, no bag into the references corner... omg.. waste my time going there... make my way back to school library... study ccta... feeling bored studying there alone.... but i still did complete taking notes for all the impt chapter...

alright meet up pam and zhuu in clubhse at 7pm... have them to buy me dinner.. thanks... whahaha... then cont study until 10pm...

haix... siannn...

x + y = nothing good...

-im never understandable... i suck-

xOOx - 11:59:00 pm



Saddness... boreness... tireness... stressness...

exam is just round a corner and i jsut feel more stress looking at those thick lecture notes.... reading them like reading a bunch of foreign language... haix... wad is happening... struck in clubhouse... with one ccta notes and i only like cover one part of the lt notes ba...

slept at only 3+am ytd... or shld i said today... thinking back.. i shld be guilty in alot of thing.. im just sorry for wad i have done... hate me if anyone need too... im just not me now... hope to give up alot of thing so to cool things off... but i just cant... they are just coming in everytime...

when will i break away from this circle... feeling so lost... why are ppl so fake... a family? dont say it when u cant accept other... this is not a family i once called... no way i will accept it... i gave up so much and i got this shit... is so disappointing... there is no point and passion for it anymore...

everything is just my fault....

-saddness + stress = nt okay-

xOOx - 11:59:00 pm

報應

為我們台灣的音樂默哀 這首歌獻給謀殺台灣音樂的
著作權法第五十一條之一和所有的幫兇
邱議瑩 秦慧珠 劉文雄 蔡煌瑯 王幸男
張學舜 杜文卿 許榮淑跟另外三十七個立委
還有判兇手無罪的王梅英法官
verse 1
有兩個沒種的兄弟 一個叫kooro 一個叫EZP
表面上正常 暗地到處偷東西 偷了台灣最國際的玩意
現在混到當大哥覺得了不起 敢光明正大的買廣告騙你
一百萬人不知道買到贓東西 還覺得價錢賣的真是便宜
付錢的人不知不覺就當了共犯 每次都偷一個人叫鄭老闆
鄭老闆公司倒閉沒錢週轉 鄭老闆員工失業沒錢吃飯
誰還要繳稅養那些沒有用的官 我看不到誰在保護智慧財產
音樂快斷氣了都沒人要管 kooroEZP很爽 大家都慘
Chorus:
你最好小心 你可能死於非命 相信這個世界有報應
不要以為你永遠都可以逃得掉 報應會到 只是來的時間晚或早
不要以為你永遠都
Chorus:
你最好小心 你可能死於非命 相信這個世界有報應
不要以為你永遠都可以逃得掉 報應會到 只是來的時間晚或早
不要以為你永遠都可以逃得掉 報應會到 只是來的時間晚或早
verse 2
張惠妹蔡依林跟周杰倫 李玖哲和王力宏都是被害人
這一天他們找上黃立成 他找白道幫忙 找黑道談判都不成
只好去找總統 可是總統又飛去哪個小國訪問 政府不知道是太笨還是聾了瞎了
抓棒球抓綁架就是不抓他們 然後還頒獎鼓勵有創意的盜版人
他們一定收買立偉才敢這麼屌 沒法律就幫他們創一條
有政府的幫忙誰都別想告 有政府的幫忙音樂更快倒
有人不吭聲有人逃 但是我們會站出來做圈子的驕傲
音樂快斷氣了誰該負責任 kooroEZP報應一定會發生

xOOx - 11:01:00 pm

Internal Conflict... It just like the social studies days... when we study on internal conflicts... in real life there is internal conflict between friends too... during seconday school days.. it just happened just within me.... my own class from a united class become 3 group with me and some frens struck in the middle...

it just like one betray the other that cause all this problem and is this problem that brought us back together... is how one accept the other for their mistake and having the will to change... just trash out all the misunderstanding will something bring out the happiness in the end... whatever it is... life isn't that sucky also...

i will still try to change that... and im getting clear about where i want to be...

-i will still try..-

xOOx - 1:11:00 am



i'm just feeling bored and tired... time is just getting slower and slower... it seem that life is getter unfair and more unfair... sometime when you think through... the things that one have done in the past is just go down to the drain... oh man... i hate my life... when will it be positive? i'm just questioning myself...

my current life is just in this circle.. study... when will i have time to really think more for others... my friends my family... sometime i just hope i can do something for others.. i just dont wish anyone to suffer... my father my mother... (even thought i hate them because they quarrel of money) i just hope to help them on something... but i dunno how...

looking toward at my frens... i just find myself guilty when i cant help my fren when they are in need of support.... haix... wad happened to me... the recent hurricane kitrina in americas... looking at those photos of death, picture of those suffering... my heart do hurt... i think i going to become monk somedays...

haix.... life life life...

-you are my fate. . .-

xOOx - 8:53:00 pm

旧课本和老吉他 躺在墙角
破球鞋 棒球手套 不再奔跑
舍不得 是一种嗜好 教我紧紧抱牢
每件过去 每个笑 每分每秒

门把上 你的雨伞 偶尔摇晃
冰箱里你的零食 还没吃完
你送的浅蓝色衬衫 孤单挂在墙上
没有人陪 没有伴 没有天堂

我丢掉过很多东西 就是学不会丢伤心
克服回忆展开单身旅行 多远我才能忘记

我捡到过很多东西 就是捡不到你的心
情书 相片 爱是迷雾森林 迷了路走不回去

也许你偷走颜料 把天漆黑
也许你摘下玫瑰 让爱幻灭
责怪是愚蠢的行为 只会加速疲惫
伤慢慢退 慢慢睡 慢慢复原

我丢掉过很多东西 就是学不会丢伤心
每滴眼泪都有你的背影 哭了才能看见你

我捡到过很多东西 就是捡不到你的心
情书 相片 爱是迷雾森林 迷了路走不回去

请尝试当爱离去 丢掉伤心
请尝试当爱撕去 丢掉感情

------------------------------

nice song... i love sad song... lol... sadistic guy.. lalalala...

xOOx - 12:42:00 am



School have been home to some of us during this period of time. *whahaha* Those with access to clubhouse and use them as study room and overnight stay. Anyway, its the start of the september school holiday and the start of study break for us... Enter the Woodland library, having the thinking that there will be alot of people and muggers who are studying for their examination be it A's O's or even like us, semseter exam.

Mugging in the cafe is a hell noisy, where all the user are toking among themselves and locating at the ground floor, it make it worse. I was on my mp3 all the time for the 4hrs+ there. Gave up and went to rest at 5:30pm. Walk around causeway pt, oh man... I was thinking to get a crumpler bag or shld i go dye my hair... I only can choose one. I love to have that $90 bag for quite a long time, but just cant make myself to bye it. Shall not care it now, exam is more impt.

Walk around for awhile, when i saw pam sms that they are going school to study. Having people to study will seen better with than alone. So i make my way back to school to meet them for study section. Did study and i left at 10:45pm...

Your encouragement just make me work harder... you too work harder too....

-missing peice-

xOOx - 11:24:00 pm



Yellow Ribbon Walk... The FATS are walking faster than us... *oh man* They really walk damn fast... So we can't under est them... They really can walk... I think the meaning behind this walk wasn't clearly put into those attend them... anyway.. after that we head to white sand and have breakfast cum lunch... pam follow me to collect my cam from peiyi...

then went to tamp interchange to meet zhuu again... found out that bus 10 go to suntec city... whahaha... zhuu, me and pam went to visit this science fair at the first floor... walk around.. and play around... there is this puzzle thingy.. that we used 2hrs and we still didnt solve it... in the end we gave up and the organsier gave us some clue and we solve it.. *song bo*

then went to watch peiying's dance competition suntec square... there is alot of dance group... and the atmosphere is getter higher and higher...

after watching a few... we went off during the break time for dinner at kenny roger... lol... we are just crapping our way tru... "My bf's gf's father..." lol... have physical training.. have some mental's training... then have english lesson just now.. lol...

me and pam took train home... crap all the way with her... we both agree and think most of us agree that secondary school is fun... sec sch have those happening thing... and teacher then was so blur and cock... lol... thinking back...

-you are my reality and i want to be yours too. . .-

xOOx - 10:33:00 pm



Complexity of guys and girls... So who are more complicated in life? For me from the guys side of view, girls are more complicated. But the girls, they think guys are more complicated. But for me, girls are normal to be complicated.. lol...

So are you complicated or not? in life there is alot of types of people. so one need to just get use to it.. but why am i feeling harder to get use to some of ppl around me the atittude and the way they work... I changed...

in the past, i usually just keep quiet about thing around me, even how bad it is i will just keep quiet.. but why now i started to comment wadever shit i don like... is not one but alot of things around me...

wadever, it is.. i think this is the new era of jason pang jian sheng... nv the quiet quiet person... nv the one who keep thing in the heart... confession will be mabe.... im the lossing end of this era... who will ever save me from this shit im have been going through... who is willing to? but in my heart there is only one who i wished for...

time after time.. hearing the rain drops... hearing water flowing... feeling the sea breeze... it just some relaxing life everyone is hoping for...

so i will like to ask... is health more impt or study is more impt? majority will choose health... but why is it everyone mugging until sick? does it mean that health isnt impt for this case... is like should you choose to go training or study during exam period... going training will make u more fit and not get sick... cos health is more impt... but most of us will just choose exam... it is so contridicting.. and education system is getting worse every batch...

time have been chasing us from 1st floor to the 99th floor and it is still chasing.. when will it stop chasing us... cant it be slow and steady... when we really can understand wad really we are studying than wasting our farking thousand of money on things that will not be used at all in future...

-this the life you choose so live with it. . .-

xOOx - 11:23:00 pm

hai... FAIL instru AGAIN... haix... wad to do... i just suck... siannnnn... i'm just so useless in study.. i just hope by end of the year i can pass all the modules... haix... today is just normal rotting day.. have acmb pract test... but it seen more like a open book test more... majority of the ppl in there are just copying their way through...

then have instru class... but wasnt listening for the whole lecture... then went to clubhouse to collect my stuff then head back home and sleep... is so irratiting when ppl start say about tiffany thingy in front of me now... just piss me off... so i warn everyone not to piss me off...

a voice that brighten my day... and that yours... your coldness was just cleared away with your voice...

-dreaming from reality-

xOOx - 7:48:00 pm

Time check 1am... hahaha... gotta go catch some sleep soon... hahaha...

-voice brighten me up-

xOOx - 1:00:00 am


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